I Have Outgrown Many Things.

by Chanda Kaushik

I have outgrown many things.
I have outgrown relatives who gladly offer criticism, but not support.
I have outgrown my need to meet family’s unrealistic expectations of me.
I have outgrown girls who wear masks and secretly rejoice at my mistakes.
I have outgrown shrinking myself for those who are intimidated by my intelligence and outspoken nature both.


I have outgrown friends who cannot celebrate my accomplishments.
I have outgrown people who conveniently disappear whenever life gets a little dark.
I have outgrown those who take pleasure in gossiping and spreading negativity.
I have outgrown dull, meaningless conversations that feel forced.
I have outgrown those who don’t take a stand against ignorance and injustice.
I have outgrown trying to please everyone.


I have outgrown society constantly telling me I’m not beautiful, smart, or worthy enough to achieve anything.
I have outgrown my tendency to fill my mind with self doubt and insecurity decades ago.
I have outgrown trying to find reasons not to love my humble self.
I have outgrown anything and anyone that does not enrich the essence of my soul.
I have outgrown many things and I’ve never felt freer.

Reminder

This poem is a reminder to me that it is ok to change and outgrow people and situations that either hold me back or refuse to let me shine. Like the author, I feel like I have outgrown friends that tend to not care about me, only call when they need something, or can’t be happy for me when something good happens. I also have outgrown being the little girl that listened to the criticism of her family for choosing her own way. I no longer take part in conversations that are forced. I am trying to enrich my spirit. I am trying to be a better version of myself and because of that, I have no need for people who do not want me to succeed.

It’s ok to outgrown others. We have permission to do it. We have permission to change.

https://skyehelps.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=1268&action=edit

National Rescue Dog Day

Today is National Rescue Dog Day. In a prior post I wrote about about how dogs help us and our mental health. https://skyehelps.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=1117&action=edit I can’t image what my life would be without my rescue baby. Nor do I remember life without her.

Abbee, our sweet girl!

Abbee changed our family. She brought unconditional love with her. She always seems to know if me or one of the boys is down and needs her love. She minds and always wants to please us. We rescued Abbee from The Lumpkin County Animal Shelter when she was just a few months old. She is now 10. Even for her age, she is still very active. She loves to run and chase her ball and the squirrels. She sleeps on her dog pillow at night and usually has a cat snuggled up to her.

https://www.lumpkincounty.gov/164/Animal-Shelter and https://www.tlchs.org/ are the two humane societies that we have in Lumpkin county. If you are looking to add to your family by getting a dog or cat I hope you are considering a rescue. Rescues cost a lot less they buying a dog from a breeder. The rescues also will be spayed or neutered. I know that the Lumpkin County Animal Shelter also chips the pet prior to you leaving. Go check them out on their websites or in person. I mean, after all, today is National Rescue Dog Day.

Rejecting someone’s energy.

Can you reject someone’s energy? Yes, you can.

I love this one! Have you ever had someone near you that makes your anxiety kick in? You don’t know what it is, but there is something about that person that makes you anxious and you want to get away from them? Your body is rejecting their energy. This is your body letting you know that there is something about that person’s energy that yours does not like. Listen to your body! Your spirit, gut, or whatever you want to call it will pick up on things before your brain does. https://skyehelps.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=1223&action=edit This link will take you to a prior post that I wrote about listening to your gut feelings. If you have the time, I would encourage you to read it, if you want more information on listening to your gut and rejecting others negative energy.

This link list signs that you shouldn’t ignore when it comes to listening to your body. https://lonerwolf.com/gut-instincts/

Christopher Robin

“You’re braver than you believe and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” – Christopher Robin

These are amazing and powerful words for our children to hear. Often times we hear our children saying things such as I’m not smart or I’m dumb. They may feel weak and fearful. It is our job as parents to make sure that we tell them daily that they are smart, brave, strong, and most importantly loved.

Children and PTSD

Just like adults, children can suffer from PTSD. The symptoms may look a little different in children, but it’s still PTSD.

First off, what is PTSD? PTSD is Posttraumatic stress disorder. This can occur after a very traumatic event. In prior history we associated PTSD with soldiers who had faced battle. Now we understand that it can affect anyone.

What can Cause PTSD in Children

  • Bad accidents, such as car wreck
  • Invasive medical procedures, especially for children younger than age 6
  • Animal bites
  • Natural disasters, such as floods or earthquakes
  • Manmade tragedies, such as bombings
  • Violent personal attacks, such as a mugging, rape, torture, or kidnapping
  • Physical abuse
  • Sexual assault
  • Sexual abuse
  • Witnessing the death of a loved one
  • Emotional abuse or bullying
  • Neglect

Signs and Symptoms of PTSD in Children

  • Have problems sleeping
  • Have nightmares
  • Feel depressed or grouchy
  • Not understand why they are crying
  • Change in eating habits
  • Feel nervous, jittery, or alert and watchful (on guard)
  • Lose interest in things they used to enjoy. They may seem detached or numb and are not responsive.
  • Have trouble feeling affectionate
  • Be more aggressive than before, even violent
  • Stay away from certain places or situations that bring back memories
  • Have flashbacks. These can be images, sounds, smells, or feelings. The child may believe the event is happening again.
  • Lose touch with reality
  • They may cling to the person that they feel safe with
  • Reenact an event for seconds or hours or, in rare cases, days
  • Have problems in school
  • Have trouble focusing
  • Worry about dying at a young age
  • Act younger than their age, such as thumb-sucking or bedwetting
  • Have physical symptoms, such as headaches or stomachaches
  • Sometimes PTSD in children can look like ADHD

What to do as a Parent

If you notice these changes in your child and they persist, talk to their doctor. Get your child into counseling and keep every appointment. Listen to your child when they want to talk about what happened. You have to admit that the event happened and acknowledge it for your child. Let the child’s school counselor know what happened so they can check in on your child. Talk to their doctor about medications that could help your child. Take it seriously! Don’t just pass it off as nothing. Understand that your child may need you more. They may cling to you because you are their safety net.

https://www.cdc.gov/childrensmentalhealth/ptsd.html

https://www.stanfordchildrens.org/en/topic/default?id=post-traumatic-stress-disorder-in-children-90-P02579

Mama Bear

I am a mama bear. Don’t mess with my kiddos!

If you were to ask me who or what I am, one of the first things that I will say is, I am a mom. I wanted to be a mom since I was a little girl and being a mom is my favorite thing. It is my most prestige title. I can’t image not being a mom now.

I have two boys. My oldest is 22 and my baby is 12. When it comes to my boys, I am the mama bear! I am protective of my cubs, regardless of their ages. With all of that said, if you mess with my boys, be prepared to get my wrath, anger, and sting.

Yesterday a counselor at my son’s elementary school stepped over the line. Earlier in the day she and I had discussed my son, a medication that he is on, and an issue that he was having. She encouraged me to call his pediatrician and inquire about changing the dosage of his medication.

Without going into a lot of details, my son already sees a counselor for PTSD and anxiety due to a traumatic event that he went through a couple of years ago. My son had seen her on Monday. (this with the school counselor happened on Tuesday). His private counselor knows his whole story and about his medication. https://www.aetna.com/health-guide/kids-anxiety-whats-normal-seek-help.html

Mama bear claws

So yesterday afternoon, I get a call from my son’s pediatrician’s nurse. Come to find out that the school counselor went behind my back and called my son’s doctor! She apparently told them, or left them a message, on what she thought we needed to do. Ironically she did not give them the whole story. And there recommendation was ridiculous! Especially since they didn’t have all of the information. My blood pressure went through the roof!

When I got off of the phone with the nurse, I called the school counselor. Luckily for her, she didn’t answer her line. I did leave her a voicemail. I told her that she had stepped over the line. That I was his mother and I could and would do what I needed to do for my child. I didn’t need her calling his doctor. I told her that she had undermined me and that I didn’t appreciate her doing this behind my back. Am I sure that her intent was good, but she crossed a line.

Now the question is, will she call me back, or will she avoid me.

https://skyehelps.com/wp-admin/post.php?post=1373&action=edit

Your Song

What’s your song?

Have you ever heard a song and the lyrics of that song expressed exactly how you were feeling? The lyrics of the song might be the very words that you needed to hear. At that moment you crave that song and those words. They give you strength, courage, hope, or faith. The song may, may you cry tears that you need to shed. Music has a way to get to the very core of our being.

My story for today

This week has been a really tough week for me. If you have read any of my blogs from earlier this week, you will know that this week marks the 25 anniversary of my father’s death. https://skyehelps.com/he-took-his-own-life/ I have also been worrying about one of my best friends and I got some news that left me feeling disappointed.

All of this really took a toll on me. I went to bed feeling beaten and I woke up this morning feeling defeated. I felt like I wasn’t good enough and that maybe in this one area of my life I should give up and move on.

When I turned on my music this morning the songs shuffled to my song. My Fight Song. Hearing this song reminded me that I shouldn’t give up. It reminded me that I am powerful, I can make a difference, and I am definitely enough! Hear are the lyrics to Fight Song and a link to the video. I hope that they inspire you to fight today.

Fight Song Lyrics

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

Losing friends and I’m chasing sleep
Everybody’s worried about me
In too deep
Say I’m in too deep (in too deep)
And it’s been two years I miss my home
But there’s a fire burning in my bones
Still believe
Yeah, I still believe

And all those things I didn’t say
Wrecking balls inside my brain
I will scream them loud tonight
Can you hear my voice this time?

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me

A lot of fight left in me

Like a small boat
On the ocean
Sending big waves
Into motion
Like how a single word
Can make a heart open
I might only have one match
But I can make an explosion

This is my fight song
Take back my life song
Prove I’m alright song
My power’s turned on
Starting right now I’ll be strong (I’ll be strong)
I’ll play my fight song
And I don’t really care if nobody else believes
‘Cause I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me.

Know I’ve still got a lot of fight left in me. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo1VInw-SKc

Dandelions

 Children everywhere rush to pick dandelions, so that they can close their eyes, make a wish, and blow the seeds into the air. (And so do some adults). I still make wishes on dandelions. Doing this reminds me of my childhood and always make me smile. Blowing and wishing on dandelions is something that my children do now and they always bring one to me so that I can make a wish.

In addition to granting wishes, many people believe that dandelion seeds will carry your thoughts and dreams to loved ones when you blow them into the air.

I love this thought. I love the idea that dandelions can carry my thoughts to loved ones that are waiting for me on the other side. It like sending them my love through the air and up to Heaven.

The Dandelion means:

Healing from emotional pain and physical injury alike. Intelligence, especially in an emotional and spiritual sense. The warmth and power of the rising sun. Surviving through all challenges and difficulties.

The meaning of dandelions hits home with me. My sister and I just got matching dandelion tattoos in memory of our dad who died by suicide 25 years ago. We both had a lot of emotional pain from his death that we had to work through. The fact that the dandelion represents surviving through challenges, reminds me that we made it through his death together. It made our bond stronger and brought us closer.

I always see the wishes and never the weeds.

https://www.mofga.org/resources/weeds/ten-things-you-might-not-know-about-dandelions/