EMDR is Eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. It is a psychotherapy that enables people to heal from the symptoms and emotional distress that are the result of disturbing life experiences. EMDR therapy requires you to briefly focus on the trauma/event/memory while simultaneously experiencing bilateral stimulation. The stimulation is usually side to side eye movement, but it can also be hand tapping.
With EMDR you are not hypnotized. You are in control the whole time. You are first asked to focus on the memory and a negative belief associated with it. Then you follow your providers finger. You then work towards a positive belief associated with the memory and work your way, away from the negative belief.
The question is, does it work? YES!!!!! I was sceptic the first time I ever had an EMDR session. I didn’t understand how it worked and had my doubts that it would work on me. It worked!
Here is my story…..
I was 15 when my uncle committed suicide. Prior to his suicide, his last words to me were spoken in anger, maybe even rage. The uncle that I loved and adored, broke my heart. Then before we could make up, he took his own life. I had so much guilt. I felt that I was to blame. I felt ashamed. I felt unworthy. I even felt that my family blamed me in some ways. That was so much for a 15-year-old to carry. The pain would overwhelm me at times. When I thought of my uncle, hate and anger surfaced. I felt cold inside.
For 30 years I carried all those negative feelings with me. I would beat myself up. Can you image how all those negative feelings affected my life and my relationships with others? I never realized that at 15 I had no control over what a 38-year-old man did.
I ended up seeing Skye at SkyeHelps. I was seeking guidance on how to help my son through a traumatic event that he had recently been through. In one of my sessions the whole story of my uncle spilled out. At that time, I agreed to EMDR. If it worked, awesome, if it didn’t, I wasn’t out anything.
When we started, I focused on my uncle and his death. The negative belief was it was all my fault. The positive belief was that he loved me. When I was asked where I felt it, I felt it in my heart. It was crushing. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was crying so hard that I could not follow her finger, she tapped my legs for the side to side movement. I honestly don’t know how long we checked in to see where I was on a scale of 1-7. I have no idea how long it took for me to get to zero. What I do know is the end results.
When we were done and I thought of my uncle, I felt warmth. I felt love. I smiled. I felt like he was hugging my and I was happy. I had no guilt. I knew that I wasn’t to blame for his actions. I knew that my family did not blame me. I had no shame. All I had was love and warmth.
30 years of negative feelings are completely gone. 30 years of blaming myself for something that I had no control over, is gone. If EMDR can do that for me, it can you it for you.
What do you have to lose? Nothing. What do you have to gain? Everything.