Mighty Oak

Mighty Oak

 Kathy J Parenteau  More By Kathy J Parenteau

Stand tall, oh mighty oak, for all the world to see.
Your strength and undying beauty forever amazes me.
Though storm clouds hover above you,
Your branches span the sky
In search of the radiant sunlight you
Count on to survive.
When the winds are high and restless and
You lose a limb or two,
It only makes you stronger.
We could learn so much from you.
Though generations have come and gone
And brought about such change,
Quietly you’ve watched them all,
Yet still remained the same.
I only pray God gives to me
The strength he’s given you
To face each day with hope,
Whether skies are black or blue.
Life on earth is truly a gift.
Every moment we must treasure.
It’s the simple things we take for granted
That become our ultimate pleasures.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com

Pain Ends

Pain Ends

By Katy A. Brown More By Katy A. Brown

Breathe in the fresh air,
Put your mind at ease.
Let down your hair,
Let it flow in the breeze.

Let your eyes wander
To all the beauty to be seen.
If those toxic thoughts you still do ponder,
Then let out a scream.

Scream until the pain is gone,
Until you no longer feel afraid.
Open your eyes to a new dawn,
Let the darkness fade.

No longer compare yourself
Or your flaws to others’ perfections.
Take the negativity off the shelf.
Focus on your direction.

Pick the sadness up off the floor,
Sweep it into the wind.
Close the door on self-hatred.
Never let it back in.

For the lies it would often tell you,
You will no longer agree.
Happiness and love are what you should hold onto.
They are whom you should give the key.

Pay no attention to the toxic thoughts,
Listen to those who adore everything you are.
Overthinking was what you once were taught,
But now those thoughts you put in a jar.

Focus on your goals,
Never lose your fight.
It’s time to open new scrolls.
Everything will be all right.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com

Be You

Be you. I have spent so much of my time and energy trying to be what others expected me to be. I would hide myself because of the expectations that were placed on me. I sacrificed my happiness to make others happy. I have given up some of my dreams because others told me they were a waste of my time or that they were stupid.

I don’t know if I made others happy or not. I do know that I wasn’t happy. Living up to expectations was exhausting. Giving up my dreams was heartbreaking. I ended up being who people thought I should be, and not being me.

It wasn’t until I gave up trying to please others and stopped trying to be who they wanted me to be before I found freedom. I found myself.

You Are…

I feel like as women, we are so busy encouraging and lifting others up, that we forget about ourselves. We are the caregivers and our family and friends come to us for most everything. And even thou we love our family and friends, we get lost and overlooked.

We also need to be encouraged and lifted up. We need to be reminded that we are more than a wife, mother, co-worker, etc. So as you go through your day, remember….. You are brave. You are beautiful inside and out. You are strong. You are smart. And most of all, you are loved.

Toxic Family Members

Most of us know how to avoid toxic people, but what about toxic family members? How do we avoid the people that we have to be around? First, we need to look at and identify their behaviors.

Behaviors of Toxic Family Members.

  • They want Control. They expect you to make the decision(s) that they want you to make, not your own. They put you down or belittle you if you don’t. 
  • They Micromanage everything in your lives. They need to have a say and control over every aspect of your life.
  • They make Threats. They may tell you things will be taken away or refused unless you do things a certain way. Their way. Your views and feelings are not taken into account, only theirs.
  • They constantly Criticize. They criticize your life, your views, your friends, opinions, religious beliefs, dress code, and career choices.
  • They Gaslight. They turn things they have said around, to make you feel like you are the problem and you have misunderstood/ confused things.
  • They Blame. It is always you. You are the reason something isn’t good; you are the problem and you are causing the toxic family member to feel bad.
  • They Dismiss your feelings. You are not given a voice, a choice or a second thought.
  • They Neglect. They do not take care of a minor if unwell; They do not provide proper food and emotional support. They do not take any interest in you.
  • They abuse you Emotionally . They use the silent treatment, laughing/making fun of an individual, verbal abuse, and mind games.
  • They Lie. They tell lies to cover up things said and done, or to manipulate you. https://natashaadamo.com/toxic-family-members/

Feelings That They Make Us Feel.

I’m not good enough.

I’m a failure.

I messed up again.

They aren’t proud of me.

I need to do better.

I need to be better.

I’m not important.

They May Not Know.

There are times when the family member does not know that they are being toxic. In their own way they are trying to help you. If it’s a parent, sometimes they want you to do as they want you to do because they don’t want you making the same mistake(s) that they made. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/heres-how-to-deal-with-toxic-family-members

I was an adult with children of my own before I realized that a family member in my life was toxic. I never felt like what I did was good enough. I always felt that I fell short. I didn’t feel like they were proud of me, because every time I accomplished something, I was told “it’s about time” or “I thought you already had done that.” Every time I tried to share something good, I ended up feeling awful.

Once I realized it, I focused on why. Why did this person always do this to me? Why did I allow it to happen? I believe that it came down to their own insecurities, jealousy, and up bringing. Realizing the why, helped me to navigate. I also had a talk with them about how I felt and what they did to me. They didn’t even realize what they were doing.

Now I am selective about what I tell this person. I have made boundaries that I keep in place. I also understand that often times what they say is more directed at themselves than at me. I try to use reflective listening with them, and let them know that I understand where they are coming from, but I have to do things my way.

Doctors that we need!

Here is a list of the 7 doctors that we need in our lives.

I love this list! it was posted on sun-gazing.com I gave this list a good bit of thought before I added it to the blog. I realized that all seven of these things make me feel so much better. They help with depression, anxiety, weight, and my overall being. http://www.facebook.com/sungazing

Think about it, don’t you feel better, happier, and less stressed when you are out in the fresh air and sunshine? I enjoy walking, so I get the exercise, sunshine, and fresh air all at once.

I read a book years ago, Eat Right For Your Blood Type, https://dadamo.com/. When I follow the diet that is right for my blood type, I feel amazing! It’s crazy, but there is a difference. I have more energy and feel less sluggish.

We have heard all of our lives that laughter is the best medicine. And it is!! So laugh today. Get outside in the sun and breath in the fresh air. Walk your dog. Drink some water. Eat how you know that you should and get the rest that you need.

Have a wonderful day!

I just need me time.

I just need me time. Just 5 minutes alone would be wonderful. The day was stressful. The bills are due and money is low. The dog puked, again and the male cat marked his territory on pictures on my grandfather that just passed away. I need just a few moments to calm down, regroup, and breath.

But the dogs are barking and wanting to go outside. The husband needs to talk about his day and the stress of his job. The youngest is wanting to know what’s for supper and the oldest one is wanting to talk about his girlfriend and moving out. On top of all of that the phone is ringing and my best friend is crying.

I want to scream!, What about me? Can I not have just a moment to myself? There is only one of me and so many of you! I feel like a juggler who has to many balls in the air and they are all falling.

Am I alone? Does anyone else ever feel this way? I love my family and my life, but sometimes I feel overwhelmed because everyone needs me at the same time. Years ago I would let this get to me and I would end up ill with everyone and everyone would end up with their feelings hurt or mad.

How did I change?

So I changed my way of thinking. I realized that I have been away all day and that they all love me and need my attention. I realized that this is a blessing and I end up smiling in the chaos. I give them my attention for however long they need it. As a result, I am able to have a little time for me. I have come to understand that I am the foundation of my family. They need me. They need me to listen to them. Once I started looking at it from this angle, I realized that I am blessed to have a family who loves to be with me.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-introverts-corner/201406/what-say-when-you-need-some-alone-time

Women

I love the meaning behind this. In many ways it explains the heart of a women perfectly. Whatever we are given, we will make it greater. Whether it is love, compassion, a house, or a hard time. Women will go out of their way to make more of what we are given.

Anxiety and Depression

https://beatingtrauma.com/

I would have to say that this is the most accurate description of anxiety and depression that I have seen. Often times you are so tired. It’s more of an emotional tiredness than a physical tiredness. You want to be productive, but either fear of failure or the tiredness stops you. It’s wanting to be with your family and friends, but the thought of being around people makes your anxiety go up and you start to feel overwhelmed. You want to be alone, because it feels safe and you want to feel loved. It’s wanting to close yourself off from everything and everyone and needing a hug from the ones that you love.

People who have never dealt with anxiety and depression don’t understand the constant battle.